Wednesday, 4 October 2017

It's Okay, You Still Have Time

Believe me that I know how unbelievably dramatic this is going to sound, but when I turned 18, I basically thought that my life was over. I never thought that I would even make it to 18, and then suddenly that day was here and I was an adult, and I was so terrified, and disappointed.

Not one part of my life turned out the way I thought it would. I assumed I would start - and finish - high school with all my friends from primary school, and then go on to do something in writing, such as journalism, but it was very clear early on that life had other plans.

After my first week of high school, my house burnt down. At the time it didn't actually affect me that much, other than the fact that I was homeless. I was still happy and positive because I knew it could have been much worse - but it did end up affecting me, in multiple ways. I wasn't really aware of how much it messed up my mum, but by the end of the year she decided to move four hours away to a completely new town, sending me to a completely new school. Without a doubt in my mind, that was the worst decision she ever made.

Without reflecting too much on the past, the four years that we spent in that town ruined the both of us. I missed school due to circumstances out of my control, I stopped believing in myself since no one else did - therefore I stopped trying - and I ultimately left at the end of year 11. I began high school an above average student who had a bright future, and I left it a shattered girl with a grocery list of mental health issues. I was a wreck. Even if I had finished year 12, I wouldn't have gotten any good scores.

By the time I was 18, even though I had moved back to Melbourne, and I had a job and an amazing boyfriend who looked after me perfectly, I still had barely any hope for the future. I was surrounded by people who had achieved so much more than me by the time they were 18: people who had been all over the world, and who had actually been taught how to be an adult and do things like cook, drive, or even put their own hair up. I'm 21 and still can't put my own hair in a bun, so it's difficult for me to be able to imagine myself ever living a proper grown-up life.

But the point of this post is not to complain or stress or bring up the past. The point of this post is actually a piece of information I was told a few weeks ago that kind of blew my mind. Daniel and I were visiting some family friends when one of them told us that her mother - who is 83-years-old - was currently on a solo trip in Canada.

So simple, I know, but I was shocked. The first thing that came out my mouth was, "Wow, I have plenty of time to explore the world." I'm 21. I have years ahead of me to do all the things I want to do. Sure, some people have had a much better start to life than I had, but there's still hope for me.

If I keep working on bettering myself and dealing with my anxiety, then my future is still wide open. It's still filled with possibilities. If I keep myself in as good health as my friend's mother, then I have a good 60 years to see all the places I want to see in the world, and save for my retirement (as that is yet another thing that I am prematurely freaking out about!), and do all the other things that I want to do in life - but this post isn't just for the 20-year-olds. It's for those of any age: you still have time. As long as you are breathing, you still have time.

Dreams won't happen overnight, but that doesn't mean you can't start working your way towards them tonight! Please don't ever let yourself believe that it's too late for anything, because it's not. As long as you have the passion and determination, you can achieve anything you desire ✨

Until next time,
Indya xx