Monday, 12 February 2018

I Quit

I know this isn't something that you're supposed to brag about, buuuuut... I'm a quitter. There's no denying it; most of my life stories begin with "I used to". There's very little things that I have continued to do for a long period of time. Some of the few things that I do still do include read, write, love and genuinely enjoy being around Daniel - and I have worked at the same place for three years - but that's a very short list. 

Now, let's take a look at some of the things that I have started, and ultimately quit, over the last 21 years:

- Tap dancing.
- Aus kick.
- Swimming lessons.
- Judo.
- Setting myself monthly goals.
-  Beauty school (althoughmy campus closed down and relocated to the city, so this one wasn't entirely my fault).

-  Singing lessons.
-  Going to the gym.
-  High school (once again, a bit more complicated than just "I quit", but still).

The first thing that is blatantly obvious from looking at this list is that I dislike anything that involves much physical activity, but also that I lack discipline. I find that quite ironic as I lived in a very strict household; I was never grounded or ever in that much trouble because that just wasn't an option in my house. 

Fear was a greatly used tool, and it made me realise very early on that I never wanted to find out what the "or else" meant in the phrase "don't do this or else". I do wish that I was forced to go through with some of the things I decided to take up as a child, though. I might have been really good at those activities by now, instead of being embarrassingly unfit, and still scared to be in even semi-large bodies of water.

The fact that I know myself, and know how often I quit things, makes me not want to try new things anymore. I don't have the drive to go through with things that don't give me instant gratification, and I know how problematic that is, so I am using this knowledge of myself to make better decisions. I know now not to make snap decisions that can affect me long-term, as I do tend to change my mind a lot.

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Self realisation is a wonderful thing. Over the last few years I have learned a lot about myself, and realised that the way I saw myself was completely different to how others saw me. I think a lot of people struggle with this as it is very difficult to know how you're coming across to people if no one tells you, but I am going to use this small piece of information about myself to hopefully work towards bettering my future self - and my first step towards a better me is this: I officially quit quitting. 

If I choose to start something, anything, from now on, I am going to try my damn hardest to see it through to the very end. Even if I hate it, I know I will learn something from it, and that will make it worth it. Who knows, perhaps I'll become so great at finishing things that I'll even go back to the book I started reading in October 2016 and finish that, too. Only time will tell.


Tell me: are you a quitter, or do you push through and finish things, even if you hate them? Do you have a reason for why you are either of those things? I'd love to know I'm not the only quitter out there, and to get some advice on how to quit quitting.

Until next time,
Indya xx